Sermon: "Dinner Party Etiquette"

"Dinner Party Etiquette"
Luke 14:1, 7-14

This passage is another one of those mealtimes the author of Luke and Acts used to broaden the understanding about what following Jesus Christ means. Some dinner party etiquette gets overhauled big time.

The very first verse has the makings of at least four sermons. The author of Luke notes that Jesus was a guest at a dinner party. So, we could spend some time reflecting on the important things that happen when people gather for dinner – catching up on events in the lives of one another – passing on table manners to our children – hearing the stories that bind us together – the learning of family secrets. (1)      

We could also reflect on the significance of Jesus eating the meal in the home of a Pharisee. Or, we could talk about the fact that the author made mention that the meal happened on the Sabbath and how keeping this day for rest and worship was central to how the Jewish people differentiated themselves from the rest of the culture in that day. Or, we could talk about some of the 270 different regulations that governed every detail of what was permitted and not permitted from sunset Friday to sunset Saturday. Or, we could spend time considering the comment that the Pharisees were keeping their eye on Jesus. (2)

While all of them could be interesting, I suspect they would all be attempts to avoid the real intent of the story. You see, the account is really about the attempt on the part of the Pharisees to discredit Jesus. Only Jesus again successfully turned the tables on them. He used the occasion to suggest that following him was going to involve a very different way of dealing with those different from ourselves. The Pharisees wanted to expose Jesus as a dangerous and irreligious lawbreaker, thus discrediting him because everyone knows religious leaders don’t break laws, right?

In the verses between the first verse and the rest of the story read this morning, a man with dropsy just happened by. Yeah, right. Jesus wasn’t dumb – he knew what the score was. He knew what was going on; and so, he began his patented counterattack of asking a question of his detractors: “Uh, boys, tell me, with this suffering one right here among us, what do you think about healing on the Sabbath?”

If those Pharisees did intentionally set up the scenario of the man with dropsy stopping by the dinner, they didn’t think things through very well. One question from Jesus was all it took for them to get real quiet. They knew with his question that he had already turned the table on them with one of his seemingly easy questions. So, Jesus healed the man and sent him on his way.

Then he turned to his host and the other guests and challenged them using their own understanding of the law and the way they practiced it in their own lives. “If one of your animals falls into an open pit, a well, on the Sabbath, don’t you rescue it?” They knew full well they were allowed to rescue their animals on the Sabbath and that he had them. So they again kept quiet. He didn’t even have to follow-up his question with the obvious in-your-face-I-gotcha logical argument: “If it’s alright to help an animal on the Sabbath, surely it can’t be wrong to help a fellow human being.”

Jesus was on a roll and he wasn’t about to relinquish the pulpit now that he had it. As an invited guest he was expected to make a presentation on some topic as a part of the after-dinner entertainment. My guess is that the topic Jesus chose wasn’t exactly one the dinner guests welcomed. Banquet etiquette following a banquet hardly seems appropriate, especially banquet etiquette so contrary from what was accepted as proper in that day.

Now, I’m going to skip over one piece of dinner etiquette the author of Luke has Jesus note in this passage - that we should avoid thinking too highly of our position in life when we choose where to sit at dinner parties. While it’s a significant change in thinking and worthy in and of itself consideration, I want to spend time on the last piece of etiquette Jesus notes because it's pretty challenging stuff.

Talk about radical teaching! “When you have a special event in your life – a luncheon or dinner party – don’t invite your friends or family members who are able to repay you, but invite instead the poor, the lame, the blind – those who can’t repay you.” The point he was trying to make is revealed in the final verse: “Although they can’t repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Or, “When it’s time to read the results in heaven, it won’t be on the basis of our educational achievements or financial accumulation or our won/lost record or our knowledge of the bible or how often we got spiritual or how deeply spiritual we have been. We are made ready for heaven on the basis of whether we have identified ourselves with – stood with – the down and out in the world.”

Humble service – standing alongside those who have difficulty standing at all – serving those who make us uncomfortable, not just by giving them food or clothes, but by socializing with them, spending time with them, inviting them into our homes for a meal, into our neighborhoods for a picnic or a swim, into our church for a meal or to worship – that is the path to salvation which will be rewarded at the resurrection of the righteous. This is a challenging story from the lips of Jesus – both to us as the church and to us as individuals. If we're going to follow Jesus than he expects us to get out of our comfort zones – to make our prayer something like this: “Lord, send us the people no one else wants.”

Now, Jesus isn’t saying there is anything wrong with us wanting to entertain our family and our friends. It’s natural for us to want to spend time with people we like and who know us well. This idea of Jesus’ is really more than just a thought about how we should make out a guest list for dinner. One writer suggests that Jesus is encouraging us to engage in “disinterested charity.” “We are being asked to give of ourselves, our time, energy, talents and treasure, and not look for any reward. This passage encourages us to make a special place in our hearts for the disenfranchised, for those on the margins of society, for the broken, weak, and poor.”  (3)

"Imagine, if you would, one of the angels returning from a hard day’s work, doing whatever angels do in heaven. Imagine that angel coming back to see Jesus, Heaven’s Delight, God’s only beloved Son, working hard to prepare a feast. It’s a spiritual banquet, an offering of every good thing God can give: joy and peace and satisfaction and grace and forgiveness of sins.

“Imagine Jesus looking up at the angel and smiling and saying, ‘Guess who’s coming to dinner!’ And, when the angel shakes his head and says, ‘I don’t know, Lord, who?, Jesus continuing with: ‘I’ve invited sinners. I’ve invited anyone who’s ever broken God’s laws. I’ve invited husbands and wives who have betrayed each other.  I’ve invited children who have let their parents down. I’ve invited parents who feel like they have failed their children. I’ve invited people who have subjected their bodies to all kinds of abuse. I’ve invited those who are twisted up inside, crippled by all kinds of painful memories. I’ve invited those whose eyes are blind to other people’s pain. I’ve invited people who say they love me, but whose actions deny me. I’ve invited all the people who, in any way, have ever failed me. I’ve invited anyone who has ever done anything that sent me to the cross.’

“And then that angel asks, ‘Why, Lord? Why? Why would you invite those people? How could they possible deserve you?  How could they pay you back?’

“And Jesus responds with, ‘They can’t. But still, I love them. And I understand their hunger. And I hope that once they have been fed, they might just be moved to feed somebody else. You see, there’s a world down there full of people who are poor and crippled and lame and blind and lonely and hungry. In fact, they’re all poor or crippled or lame or blind in some way. It’s a world that needs to be loved with my kind of love. The kind of love that keeps on giving and doesn’t count the cost.’” (4)

Friends, the Kingdom of God includes banquets, dinner parties, luncheons, Pepsi and coffee breaks but they are different than any we think about throwing. When God throws the party – is the host – you never know who is going to be there or who you’re going to sit next to. “The financier will be seated next to the panhandler he always passed on his way to work. The store owner will be next to the person he just fired, and the doctor will be put next to the woman who just sued him for malpractice. Rush Limbaugh may be beside the single mother on welfare. Jerry Falwell may have to strike up a conversation with a gay rights activist.

“And you know what, everyone will get along famously at God’s Banquet Feast. You and I may well find ourselves seated next to, and engaging in conversation with, people we presently can’t stand (or who can’t stand us). But the old anger, hurt, and grudges will be gone, and reconciliation will come. At God’s Table, the barriers that keep people apart – rich/poor, upperclass/lowerclass, black/white, Republican/Democrat, gay/straight, friend/foe, the dividing walls of hostility will come smashing down. The crash will be greater than the fall of the Berlin Wall.  God’s Banquet Feast will be the greatest party ever!” (4)

Every once in awhile we’re privileged to get a glimpse of this Kingdom of God banquet. I used to see it once a month on Sunday mornings when a breakfast ministry team at Lima Trinity started to have persons from an obviously different social class than those who normally attended church there drop in for the breakfast. It was awesome to see church members and homeless people and people from public housing just sitting around talking and eating together. I understand it's still happening coupled with some other life-changing ministries.

I get a glimpse of it every year at New Life’s Tailgate party. I hear stories about what it looks like on Sunday mornings at the CRC breakfast. I get a glimpse of it every year at Maple Grove's community Thanksgiving meal.

I'd be curious to hear of other images/glimpses others of you have been a part of or seen.

Peace and God's blessings on you all!

Fred Craddock, Interpretation: Luke (Louisville: John Knox Press, 1990), p. 175.
R. Robert Cueni, “Divine Dinner Party Decorum,” Sermons on the Gospel Readings, Series I, Cycle C (Lima, Ohio: CSS Publishing Company, 2004), 0-7880-1968-6e.
Alex Gondola, Jr., “Entertaining Tips for Christians,” Come As You Are (Lima, Ohio: CSS Publishing Company, 2000), 0-7880-1562-1.
Ibid.