"United Methodist Schism or 'Amicable Separation'?"

"United Methodist Schism or 'Amicable Separation'?"

"Do I dare lend my voice, thoughts, experiences, understanding of scripture to the clouding dialogue taking up space on the internet and behind closed doors about the possibility of a split within the United Methodist Church denomination?" "Do I dare not to?" The two questions are a fairly accurate summary of the turmoil I've been going through recently, like many of the rest of you.

There are few things I detest more than the thought of the further breaking apart of the physical Body of Christ (yes, I mean the individual and corporate that make up the institutional community of faith). Most have to do with the ministry we are neglecting because of the energy we are expending fighting/arguing/debating/chastising/condemning and annoying one another over this supposedly one issue. To be sure, I believe it's really a much broader issue than our views on homosexuality that divides us, but it is the one that has brought that broader issue we have never quite been able to see eye-to-eye with each other about into clearer and pronounced focus. The poor and disadvantaged are crying in our streets and around the world for us to get our act together! Children are abused and neglected and wonder where our voices and bodies are! People are being left out and bullied and we are too much in strife to notice and in fact are partially to blame because of some of our voices and actions!

The real issue that faces us is not an unfamiliar one. It's been with us throughout the whole of church history. How is it we are going to regard the scriptures? Are we going to accept  them literally? Are they infallible? Do we understand them as the inspired word of God? Are they a guide for our living as Christians? What do we do with the work that our biblical scholars have accomplished and the biblical criticism tools they have used and refined to help us understand much that we have better? When are we going to be honest/truthful with the whole body of believers about how the Bible came to be and the people leaders of the early church killed, had excommunicated, branded heretics, because they believed and taught something different than the world rulers our bishops went to bed with wanted to be the accepted and taught interpretation? What are we going to do with the secular Western Civilization writings and studies and the religious History of the Church interpretations of what has brought us to where we are? Are we really in favor of not allowing scientific inquiry and discovery to have any influence on our beliefs, our understanding of the world and God, our interpretation and understanding and study of the holy texts?

O. K., before I succumb to the temptation to become overly academic in this post, I want to focus now on the thoughts I've been having these last few weeks about my journey with the schism issue. To be honest, it's not the first time in my life I've wrestled with this concern and the range of times is the story that's been having a field day in my head and heart.

I was born and lived most of the first 18 years of my life in Ottawa, Ohio - the small (5,000+) county seat of Putnam County in the northwestern part of the state. Ft. Jennings, Ottoville, Kalida, and Glandorf were almost 100% Catholic. Pandora was mostly Mennonite. Leipsic, Columbus Grove, Vaughnsville, Continental, Dupont, Cloverdale, and Gilboa were generally regarded as having a fair number of Catholics but also had a sizeable number of protestants. Ottawa was about 90% Catholic. (This may not be statistically 100% accurate but it's my memory of the make-up of the communities and county.) I remember early in my life wondering about all these churches acknowledging Jesus as the Christ but not having much to do with one another.

Now, because of the public school I attended, the scouting program, Little League baseball and the opening of the local swimming pool I became acquainted with others who did not attend the Methodist Sunday School and worship service. Hmmm...., they seemed to dress the same as me and have feelings like mine and we even talked comfortably with one another, sometimes even about God and other religious stuff. There were some things we believed differently but they hardly seemed enough to be meeting in separate buildings. Oh, how naive I was I finally was informed - they as well, probably. We learned a little surface church history and the worst about each other from our own denomination's bias. Mine came from Sunday School, confirmation class, and working on the God and Country award. We were advised against dating teens of a different denomination - (oh, let's be honest) if you were a Protestant, it was don't date a Catholic; and if you were a Catholic, it was don't date a Protestant. We still dated one another you understand, it was just we weren't supposed to and the longer it went on the more fearful/concerned adults in the community became. My high school girlfriend was Catholic and I dated her off and on for almost 5 years, mostly because of parental pressure - er, the pressure was for us not to date.

Admittedly, that was a minor bigoted education compared to the indoctrination I later received from a popular para-church youth organization after a "born-again" experience at the Defiance District Senior High Youth Institute at Lakeside, Ohio. Now, while I still reference the experience as a significant one on my journey of faith, today it's one of many confirming moments and not even the most important one. I reference it here because of the organization I joined as a result.

The organization trained us to be evangelists in our communities. We were to target our Catholic friends because they weren't born again and didn't believe in the Bible. They probably filled our minds with other falsehoods and bigotry but those are the ones that seem relevant to this discussion. (Notice that I am not naming the organization or a specific leader. That's because they also helped me deal with a lot of stuff in a good way and the leader was a good guy despite some of his teaching that I find so distasteful today.)

I can't thank my friends enough for putting up with my armed attacks to make them "real" Christians. I also owe a lot to Rev. John Brown for his calmness and sensitivity while I was dealing with the narrow Biblical interpretation that was being fed me. And I continue to appreciate my parents for encouraging me to question as well as to grow in my faith.

Then came college. The para-church group encouraged me to consider a Bible college, which I did. I finally decided on Ohio Northern University though. While there were numerous reasons I've shared over the years, the ones relevant to this reflection were there was no dancing or card playing at the Bible college or while at home and, more importantly, I sensed that ONU was going to allow me more opportunity to think for myself. That doesn't mean I did, but I could. After switching my major from math to religion, I spent most of my religion, Bible, and philosophy classroom time being paranoid and defensive. Because though of Dr. James Udy, a visit by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to ONU, Dr. Thomas Hoffman, the Student Religious Council, Rev. Ford Hoff, a Western Civilization course, The License to Preach course of study, several friends, especially Dorothy, some of the rougher edges of my narrow view of Christianity and the world were filed down.

Shortly after I left for ONU, my high school girlfriend broke up with me. It took me several months to recover but I began to date different female friends that helped me through the transition. Dorothy and I ran in the same circle at ONU and were both math majors but we didn't start dating until we returned to our Putnam County homes the summer after our freshman year. (I'll not rehearse here that whole story as it is in an earlier blog post.) Dorothy was Catholic and I was United Methodist. We became serious fairly quickly. We were attracted to each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, culturally, and spiritually. In fact, it is our common belief that it was our similar depth of spiritual commitments that created our strong bond. We spent hours together talking about our beliefs, our wants and needs, our hopes and dreams. We went to at least two worship services a week off-campus - one United Methodist and one Catholic. And we struggled with our differences and argued with our denominational loyalties and what kept denominations from coming together with one voice.

I remember at least one ecumenical service on campus where we were able to commune together - one received from the priest and the other from the UM pastor, but it was a sign of hope. Shortly after our engagement I was interviewed by the District Committee on Ordained Ministry. I was asked about my engagement to a Catholic woman and how I would handle it in the local church when it came up or was an issue with some members. I don't remember all I said but I know I replied that I would be upfront and share in the introduction meeting so it was out in the open because there was nothing to hide. Well, they must have bought it because they passed me on to the conference.

When I shared with Dorothy the details of the interview, she cried. Then, she took her engagement ring off and tried to hand it to me. She didn't want to stand in the way of my being able to pursue being a UM pastor. While I was a bit offended and defensive by the line of questioning of the committee, there was no way I had anticipated Dorothy's reaction! Despite my shock I had enough presence of mind to immediately refuse her offer to return the ring. I tried to assure her that I loved her and we were getting married and if it impacted my being able to be a minister, well that was too bad! (Now, I later realized that every candidate had to go through the interview process - that I hadn't been singled out because of our situation! Pretty naive, huh!) The confusion in my head for why denominations had to be continued to grow despite what I learned in college, the local church and the License to Preach up to that point.

So, we continued to make our wedding plans. We went to see the priest of the Catholic Church Dorothy had been active in growing up and shared our story. We expressed our concern about not being able to receive the elements of communion together on our wedding day. He seemed to understand and expressed a willingness to send a letter to the Bishop of the Diocese for special permission for me to receive the sacrament along with her.

Another issue we raised was that because of my working at a YMCA camp near Akron, Ohio it would be impossible for me to attend the Pre-Cana meetings. We worked out an arrangement where the priest would send me the tapes of the sessions and he would meet with Dorothy. I would write a short piece reflecting on the input. It wasn't bad material - more helpful and insightful than I thought it would be.

Sometime before the wedding Dorothy's beloved priest was assigned to a different parish and Continental received a new priest. (That's right, the itinerant system is at least one of the things we have in common!) Guess what? He'd never heard of such a thing as a letter from a bishop giving permission for a non-Catholic to receive the sacraments. Dorothy decided not to receive the elements so that we wouldn't be doing something different during the mass to highlight our reality. Despite the uncomfortableness while half our family and friends remained seated as the rest came forward to receive the eucharist, it was a beautiful and holy service. But, for the purpose of this post it's another of those times when we wanted to cry out "Why?" "Why do we treat each other this way?" "Why can't we just get along?" "Why can't we believe and let believe?" (Don't misunderstand. We know the historical and theological reasons but it seems like such an embarrassing reality/result/way to solve differences of opinion/deal with the secular rulers.)

Well, then followed our honeymoon at Lake Hope, the return to Ada for our senior year at ONU, the move into our first home (a trailer in Brown's Trailer Court), some part-time work as a janitor in the Science building and as a youth minister at Lima Grace, the finishing touches on my football and track careers, and much growth in our relationship as we continued to learn more and more about one another - the good, the bad and the ugly. We continued to attend together both of our denominational worship services and grow in our understanding and appreciation of each other's faith journeys. It still bewildered us that there was a need for multiple denominations of Christianity, despite our knowledge of the history that had caused it to be a reality.

By this time I had become increasingly disillusioned with the concept that as a Christian all I had to do was to pray about something and God would direct my steps - lay an obvious path out for me - speak to me. One of the young people at Grace was helpful in my contemplating what God's will was and how one heard it when she painfully challenged me one day as to how exactly one "hears" God since she never had. That probably was the beginning of my considering more carefully the words I used when I spoke of and thought about God, etc.

So, the big question I had been considering for several years was whether God was calling me into the full-time ordained ministry. I knew I felt called to work with young people, but my early thoughts were as a basketball coach, math teacher, and Youth Fellowship volunteer. The decision to go on and attend seminary was basically about simply opening the next door and see what happened. That became my modus operandi - pray (converse with God the best I knew how), take stock of urgings or desires, and open a door. I never heard the clear voice of God via my ears - it was more a sensing in my heart and mind - still is.

After we decided that I would attend United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio, Dorothy was hired to teach business and math at West Carrollton Junior High School. We found an apartment in Miamisburg and started the next phase of our lives. The next three years were a time of tremendous growth for us both faith and marriage wise. After a couple short-term field education positions I was hired as the first Director of the Burg Center which several downtown Miamisburg churches started to meet the needs of that area - a unique combination of a suburban inner-city and an appalachian neighborhood.      

During the last two years of seminary I was the student associate minister at Miamisburg Parkview UMC. The church owned a duplex next to the church and that's where we lived. They were both directly across the street from Library Park. The Catholic Church was one block west, across the tracks and closer yet to downtown. I experienced one of the more intimate clergy monthly fellowships in that community.

We visited the church several times before I became a member of the staff. On one of those Sunday visits, when it was time to recite the Apostles Creed together, we opened a hymnal like we always did despite our both knowing it by heart, and lo and behold the word catholic was crossed out! We looked at each other in shock. During one of my sermons near the end of my time there I mentioned that experience, but assured the congregation that it didn't reflect how they treated us at all. The church had a picnic at the end of my ministry there to celebrate our time together. One of our friends presented us a framed copy of that page from the hymnal! They included a note in the gift box informing us that they had removed the hymnal from the sanctuary! It was one of our most memorable moments in ministry. Everyone had a good laugh.

We endured several of the more traumatic situations of our lives during those seminary days. We suffered two miscarriages and my brother's mental health issues began. The seminary, local church, and district communities of faith were all very supportive. Now, some of the meant to be helpfulness soon lost its appeal and became further fuel for the continuing shift of where I fell on the biblical and theological spectrum. My narrow, judgmental, literal take on the scriptures, and understanding of God changed drastically during that time. Great strides toward being a more open, accepting, encouraging, and inclusive pastor were taken as I experienced life those three years. I began to appreciate and intentionally utilize biblical scholarship/criticism. It happened for a variety of reasons, one of them being the faith of others that allowed them to say such intended to be comforting words as: "God doesn't make mistakes." "Miscarriages are God's / nature's way of saying things aren't quite right." "Mental illness can be cured if your brother believed more in God." "God's trying to teach you something by doing these things." "It's all a part of God's wonderful plan and God will bring good out of it." These weren't all, but you get the picture. Oh, did I mention that both the supportive actions and the meant to be supportive comments came from family and friends. Hmmm...possible to believe differently, see things differently despite being raised in the same family and same denomination?! Imagine that!

You might wonder how we remained believers during those days. We were blessed with family, friends and a seminary community who listened rather than spoke, and who helped us to say "No, that's not how we sense God in our lives." We also continued attending together worship services at both United Methodist and Catholic churches every week, even though some of those not so helpful comments came from people in each.

After seminary I was appointed as the associate pastor of the Urbana United Methodist Church. Both of our children were born while we lived in Urbana. Both of our children were also baptized while we lived in Urbana - in two different churches. I was again a member of a particularly active and open clergy fellowship there, and we were as involved and known in the Catholic Church there as anywhere we lived. Dorothy and I had often talked of having a baptism where both denominations were represented. We had agreed to raise our children Christian. Our idea was that we would hold the baptismal ceremony in a Catholic Church and I would do the actual baptism.

When Jeremy was born we made our proposal to our friend, Fr. Bob Schutte. He was very kind and understanding. His thought was that he would send a letter to the diocesan office to get the Bishop's thoughts. (Truthfully, I don't think he wanted to be the one to burst our bubble.) We received a very kind and supportive response from the Bishop's office. Basically, the letter expressed regret that what we proposed couldn't be done because in the Catholic Church when one is baptized they become a member of the denomination and thus it needed to be by a Catholic priest.

Bob Schutte received the same letter and called us to invite us to come and see him again. He said he had an idea he wanted to run by us. During our visit he suggested that he attend a morning worship service at the UM Church and use the Catholic liturgy during the service. Since our primary desire was to express our oneness in Christ rather than my actually doing the baptism, we felt it was a generous suggestion on his part.

I shared the idea with the Sr. Pastor, Carl Robinson, and he recommended we seek the Staff-Parish Relations Committee's thoughts. They were enthusiastic and thus it happened! It was a wonderful day. The story was reported in both UM and Catholic news blurbs - "an encouraging sign of ecumenism," the reporters observed! It sure sparked hope in us! Since then, a few other small baby-like steps, but not much has changed in our relationship at the institutional level.

Our second child was a daughter, Megan. We decided that we wanted Carl, who had been my mentor and close friend while we were in Urbana, to baptize her. It was just as big a celebration in our hearts and minds as Jeremy's baptism and the congregation and family felt the same. For awhile we were referred to as the family with a baptized UM Christian and a baptized Catholic Christian. We soon decided to start correcting people and provide our perspective. We had two baptized Christian children!

Our intent was still to raise them as much as possible in both denominations. We planned on having them go through confirmation and then let them decide if and where they wanted to join. We continued to attend both churches together taking with us both children. It got more and more difficult because of the amount of time I was involved in ministry at the UM Churches, weddings, behavior of children, etc. I know we had a mixture of emotions when we attended masses where other children were receiving their first communion and when the kids decided to be confirmed in the UM Church, but we weren't surprised either. After all, most of our time was spent in the UM Church. The kids were more familiar with what was going on and comfortable.

I could go on and on, but I think this makes the point I want to make about our "mixed" marriage - Dorothy and I have long been committed to the ecumenical movement. We wanted everyone to get along - in the church and in the community. Oh, we've lost some of our naivety. We realize that people were killed, died, declared heretics, and excommunicated because of some of the differences. We know also that not all of the decisions made by the early councils were the result of good theology but because of the desire and pressure of some secular rulers who wanted uniformity of belief. It's been difficult but we've also come to the place where we realize that everyone does not belong under the same roof - that there are some people we would really rather not be around because of how differently we believe and/or come to belief or faith. Mostly, it's around one's ability to be tolerant and civil rather than particular beliefs. Although even differences of beliefs can be extreme enough to make me accept that it would be best if we not get into a theological discussion with one another. (Westboro Baptist church flashes through my mind. So does the Left-foot Baptist Church in Kentucky. It named itself that because it split off from the main Baptist Church in town because they believed that a person hadn't been baptized correctly unless they entered the water with the left foot first! I don't even care to be near people who believe like that, let alone try to talk theology or about the Bible with them.)  
 
Until the closing days of the last three General Conferences I wouldn't allow the thought of going through a split in the United Methodist Church - amicable or nasty! What caused me to begin to entertain the possibility is the reality, from my point of view, that the line in the sand has been drawn by most of us and we are destroying our ability to witness of the unconditional love of God and God's grace. People have left our denomination and others continue to contemplate it in this day as well because of a variety of positions on the homosexuality issue and the overriding concern about how we're going to regard the holy scriptures. Are they the inspired Word of God that provide us a guide for thought and behavior, or do we perceive them as the inerrant and infallible Word of God?

Frankly, I think the larger issue is the one that is more likely the true litmus test despite how we've made the homosexuality issue central to determining whether we are faithful or not. I just cannot fathom how an "amicable separation" or "local choice" option will ever work in the local church! (And, believe me when I say I have the utmost respect for Mike Slaughter and Adam Hamilton and their attempt to help us see a third way! If I'm still alive when and if separation happens and nothing new has been proposed, I will stand beside them even in this incapacity leave reality.) I know some of us (pastors and lay leaders) believe that all of the people who belong to our local church think just like us, but I know that's not been the reality in any local church I've ever served! Nor, would I want it that way. "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." I suppose some do have that kind of power and related authority. But I think it's dangerous. I think if people end up having to choose between being a member of a denomination that believes homosexuality is incompatible with the scriptures or one that is accepting and willing to ordain persons or marry them based on the couple's faith perspective and sexuality, we're going to have to start at least three churches to handle the different positions. There are people of all persuasions in most of our local churches. If that becomes the dividing line, we are going to have a mess on our hands.

If the dividing line, however, is how we regard the scriptures, I think it's past time to resolve that one! I believe most congregations could have a majority position about how the scriptures are regarded - literally & infallible, or inspired and able to use all of the biblical scholarships tools available to us in our day as well as science and history and our own experiences to come to a deeper understanding of faith and related biblical themes. I'm just having trouble with the idea that the denomination that raised me to be open, accepting, gracious, kind, compassionate, inclusive, and generous - that taught me to love and learn the inspired Word of God and encouraged me to question and challenge utilizing a variety of disciplines - that lifted up concepts like unconditional love and prevenient, justifying and sanctifying grace - that lived out that the scriptures were supremely important as an avenue to understand and experience God, but not something to be worshipped more than God, would potentially morph into something else.

Well, I think I've written enough. I'd like to write more but this one took me a full two weeks. It probably is more appropriate in a book than a blog, but I'm not writing a book.

Peace to all!